Today marks two weeks in country. It seems like we left ND months ago. I suppose it's because the amount of stuff we've done in the past few weeks has been so overwhelming and draining. It's been non-stop.
It is definitely wonderful being here, but it's so different. This week my brain has constantly been trying to make decisions and process WHAT in the world God has for our family here. There's been so much change in a short period of time, we're not out of our comfort zone...we're not even in the vicinity of our comfort zone!!!
This past week, we picked our house, we found a car, we in-processed to the embassy, Hubby worked, the kids went to camp and hourly care, we met more people and we took our first day trip to The Netherlands.
Eating french fries and brats...
...snacking on waffles...
...eating out...
...where even the babies get glass goblets...
...the boys went on a field trip to a Sea Park in Bruges...
...we drove to The Netherlands...
...to picnic...
...and play...
It's just been crazy. (I think I will be saying that over and over again.) In the states, I would never have put my kids in day care, or sent the boys to camp and let them get on a bus to go across the country (to another city) to an amusement park without me. People here rarely take their kids anywhere. Not even to the grocery store. For locals, childcare is basically free from birth and school here starts at 2.5 years old. It makes me sad, actually, the idea of not spending time with my kids and teaching them about God and life, playing with them, enjoying them...raising them. It's very different.
Cultural differences aside, we simply weren't allowed to take them with us to some of our appointments and unlike a stateside move, I have to do a bunch of this stuff with the Hubs, so we have had to just...let go. God was faithful not to make me anxious, fortunately we can afford all the childcare/camp, and they've all enjoyed the play time with new friends, in new places. Such flexible, hardy dandelions.
This coming week will bring more adventures...the Hubs will be traveling, so the kids and I will hold down the fort and explore more of this new life.
Thanks for sending me the link to your blog! I do agree with you that people take their children with them less for basic errands like to the grocery, etc., but I think generally they have MUCH more time off and quality family time together than in the States. For example, while the childcare is mostly free and preschool starts at 2.5, there are LOTS more holidays than in the USA. The preschool (Maternelle) and regular schools always finish at noon every Wednesday, and I believe they have between 20-30 holidays during the year, plus two weeks off the in the fall, two weeks at Christmas, two weeks in the spring, and then 6-8 weeks in the summer. Six weeks paid vacation is standard (and I think the minimum) here for adults, so all the Belgians I know travel with their families for at least 3-4 weeks a year out of country to ski or to the beach, etc. I think its just a different way to approach spending time with your kids (and your spouse), and in some ways to me, it seems much more balanced. :)
ReplyDeleteCertainly, their schedules are different overall and it works for them. It simply doesn't work for our family. Even all the vacation time and half days aren't enough time for me which is a huge reason we homeschool. I have been disappointed by people's attitude towards children going out and about, doing life with me, but it's simply not what they're used to. It's just an adjustment to get used to, for me.
DeleteYou know, as I have thought about this, I do see lots of kids with their parents, doing everything, but more on the weekends. For example, I mentioned your comment about how children don't accompany their parents into stores to a friend, and she told me she and her husband went to Ikea last weekend and there were tons of children--that it was almost all families with children. I have also been warned that Pairi Daiza (the amazing huge zoo/botanical gardens near Chievres) is very full on weekends too, all the American moms say to go during the week. So in that sense if you sight-see more with the kids during the week you are reaping the benefits! (Though Belgian school is out for the summer now.)
DeletePersonally, I prefer the Belgian system, and I find myself a better mom when Jesse has his time at the CDC while I work, etc. I also think that every working adult deserves at least 6 weeks vacation, and I really wish we would recognize this in the USA. But since all of us are different, your wish to be home with your children full-time is absolutely just as valid, and I am very sorry you have had some bad experiences. I haven't had anyone say anything to me when I have had Jesse with me during the week or on the weekend, and I hope that your experiences have been driven more because of this crazy in-processing where you "can't" have the kids with you. I also hope that as you are able to just go do more of the fun/educational things, you would receive less judgmental attitudes about having the children with you. I hope that it gets better for you and that the adjustment continues to go ok. Of course I'll keep you in my prayers and let me know if I can help.
And definitely come down here and check out Pairi Daizi--you may want to get season passes! We didn't go last year for a variety of reasons, but plan to this summer. Everyone says it is so wonderful, and it's famous all over Europe.
http://www.pairidaiza.eu/en
Kelly, what an adventure your family is on! It sounds both chaotic and exciting at the same time. I'm so glad you have a sponsor there to help do things a bit. Will your kids be attending the schools there?
ReplyDeleteHi Jami! It is definitely both those things! No, our kids will still be homeschooling. We did give brief consideration to the local schools, as the language immersion would be great, but it's not the best decision for our family. We will be hiring a tutor as part of our school time to teach us both French and Dutch.
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